Kristy's Choice
by Lizwontcry
Summary: The girls get together for their 10 year high school reunion. What happens when Kristy finds a friend in Logan? Told from Kristy's perspective.
1. Default Chapter

This is obviously my first BSC fanfic, but probably not the last! I was just always interested in what happened to all them after high school. This one doesn't include Jessi, Mallory, or Dawn, but they are there in spirit. R/R if you wish. 

CHAPTER ONE

One day I woke up and I was fed up with my life. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of being a leader. I was tired of only wearing turtleneck sweaters and being a tomboy all the time. And I was REALLY tired of babysitting. For once in my life, I didn't want to be responsible anymore.

I was 18 years old and pondering what direction my life was going. The plan was that I was going to move to California to go to UCLA with Mary Anne, but the more I thought about it, the more I dreaded it. I had to get out of here. I had to get as far away as possible from the reputation I had among everyone I knew.

Don't get me wrong, I was immensely proud of the BabySitters Club and what it meant to Stoneybrook. I was also a little bitter at my friends who abandoned the club when their lives got a little too intense for it. I still tried to maintain the club and what it stood for, but it just got too hard. At 18 years old, I was tired of my life, and it was time to change it for good.

As soon as I woke up and wiped the sleep from my eyes, I called Mary Anne. She was my best friend since we were 8 years old, and I barely ever made a decision without calling her first.

"Kristy! What is it! You sound weird," she said, taking a bite from an apple. She ate an apple for breakfast every single morning of her life.

"Can I come over? I want to talk."

"Sure! Come on over."

I hung up, knowing that I was about to shock her and it wasn't going to be pretty.

I took my crappy hand-me-down car (Charlie gave it to me after he finally got a real job and started making money to buy a new car) to Mary Anne's barn house she shared with her dad and stepmother. I always went to her house because still, after all these years, I was not used to Watson's big mansion. I never quite felt comfortable in that house.

She was waiting for me when I arrived.

"Where's Dawn?" I asked, before getting to the point.

"Oh, she's off on the East Coast somewhere with some guy in a van. She's gotten so flaky lately, Kristy! I don't think she's going to UCLA with us!"

"Um, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Mary Anne."

"Okay... what is it? Just tell me."

"I can't go to UCLA. I just can't. I need to get away, Mary Anne! I'm tired of my reputation here. I don't want to go to California; I just want to get out."

"Kristy! We're all getting out, don't you see? Claudia is going to San Francisco to art school, Stacy is moving to New York to go to NYU, we're going to California! We ARE getting away."

I took Mary Anne's hand.

"You don't get it... I mean I'm going FAR away. I'm going to Paris. I have a cousin there, and I called her this morning. She said I was welcome to stay with her for a year or two while I got on my feet there, and she sounded really excited about it. I'm going to do it."

Mary Anne's eyes grew wide, and I knew we were in for the waterworks. I was going to miss that about her.

"Don't cry! It's the best for all of us. With all four of us going in separate directions, we'll get a chance to grow! We need this, Mary Anne. You know that."

She looked down at her feet and didn't say anything for a while. A few minutes later, she finally looked up at me and gave me a watery grin.

"Okay, Kristy. If that's what you want, that's cool. I understand. I'll miss you, you know that. But if it's what you think you have to do, then do it. I support your choice."

I knew that was the hardest thing she ever had to say, and I appreciated it.

That was 10 years ago. Now I found myself, while dusk turned the chilly Connecticut night dark, staring at the red brick monstrosity that was Stoneybrook High School. Mary Anne called me in France and told me about the reunion, and I knew I had to attend. I was nervous about seeing all my former friends because I really sort of left Claudia and Stacy hanging. I never told them I was leaving because it was just too much. They were my friends, but as these things happen, we were drifting apart in the end anyway. I knew they must have been bitter towards me, but a thick cloud of apathy surrounded me ever since I moved to France.

I was nervous, but ready to face my past.


	2. Update

CHAPTER TWO

Meanwhile, Mary Anne, Claudia, and Stacy were at Stoneybrook's only Mexican food restaurant, drinking margaritas and eating chips and salsa.

"Claudia! Tell me about Mimi!" Mary Anne said, taking a bite of her fajitas.

Claudia sighed contentedly.

"She's beautiful, you guys. She's two years old and she's already painting! Can you believe that! She's already an artist!"

Mary Anne and Stacy were so proud of Claudia and all she's achieved. After almost failing middle school completely, Claudia realized she had to get it together or her art would have to be put on the back-burner. With a lot of help from Stacy, her parents, and Janine, she got her academic life on track, enough to get a scholarship to a fantastic art school in San Francisco. When she was a senior, she fell in love with her pottery teacher, and the rest is history. She had a beautiful baby girl and was now a graphic artist at one of the biggest advertising agencies in town. She named the little girl after her favorite person in the world, her grandmother Mimi.

Stacy was also doing well for herself. After college at NYU, she settled into a career of investment banking. She had a degree in finance and with her aptitude for math; the job was a breeze for her. But she could never kick that fashion bug, and at 25, she finally flung herself head first into the fashion industry, where she was welcomed with open arms by the fashion community. She was an up and comer in the fashion world, and her star was steadily on the rise.

"So, Stacy! Dish! How's Ethan?"

"Oh yeah! Mary Anne, Ethan and I broke up before I went to college because I was so focused on my grades and stuff. I dated other people in college, but you know how that goes... nobody ever compared to him. A year after graduating I bumped into him at Barnes and Noble, and well... it just clicked. The age difference didn't mean so much anymore. And we got married a few months later!"

Mary Anne squealed with joy.

"That is so cool, Stacy! I'm so happy for you!"

Mary Anne was still single, having never found someone she liked as much as Logan. She told the ladies about her new career in the non-profit industry.

"I did a lot of volunteering when I was in school and I really wanted to work at a non-profit agency. Instead of trying to find one I liked, I created one! It's called "The Barn House" and basically it helps victims of fires. We help them rebuild their lives after fires took everything they owned. After the fire burned down our house, I always wished we had something like that in our lives."

"I read about it in Time, Mary Anne! I'm so proud of you," Claudia gushed.

Eventually, after all the food was eaten and cleared off the table, the talk finally turned to the inevitable.

"So, Mary Anne... how is she?"

Mary Anne sighed.

"She's great, you guys. I don't understand why she never called you, but really, she's fine. She lived in Paris for 5 years, and then moved to London. She missed Paris, though, so she moved back after she had some kind of disastrous love affair over there."

"What does she do in Paris?" Claudia asked.

"She's in marketing! Think how well she marketed the BSC in this little town. I can't imagine what she could do with unlimited capital.

The girls chuckled, thinking about me and my domineering ways.

"I miss her," Stacy said.

"Well, she'll be there tonight. It should be interesting."

Claudia checked her watch.

"Girls, we gotta go. We don't want to be late for our reunion, now would we?"

The girls paid and left to go to the high school. They were all nervous, but for different reasons.


	3. Reunited and it feels so good

CHAPTER THREE

I spotted the girls as soon as they drove up in Mary Anne's car, but I waited for them to approach me. I wasn't the bossy, straightforward little girl that I used to be. Now, I was patient and quiet. I think it suited me well.

I hadn't seen Claudia or Stacy since I left for France. They were my best friends growing up, but I was just so bitter that they would turn their backs on the club that I could hardly stand it. I knew it was petty of me back then, but the club was my lifeblood. The club was what I lived for, and they didn't take it seriously enough.

Mary Anne told me they were a little hesitant towards me, even now, because I didn't even say goodbye before I left. I always meant to call. Every single day I'd wake up and wonder if it would be the day I'd call them, but I never did. Days turned into months, months turned into years, and before I knew it, a decade had passed since I talked to them. I knew Claudia was married and even had a little girl, and Stacy was living her dream in the fashion world, but that was the extent of it. I wouldn't admit this to anyone, but I longed to know every single detail of what was going on in their lives. I wanted to know about Stacy's diabetes and what it was like to really live in New York City and I wanted to know about Claudia's husband and what it was like to fall in love with a professor.

And honestly, I had stories of my own to tell. I lived in Paris for 5 years before moving to London, where I lived a good three years before moving back to Paris. Paris is my home, but Connecticut is where I grew up, and Claudia and Stacy were a part of that.

They all approached me quietly. Mary Anne grinned at me, and I grinned back, but it was for show. Inside, I was nervous as I could possibly be.

"Hey guys!" I said, kissing them on the cheek. They looked a little taken aback at my appearance, which was about 100% different from when I was younger. Instead of my trademark turtleneck, I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and a long, black flowing skirt. Instead of the ponytail I used to wear my hair in all the time, it was now long, curly, and a light shade of brown with warm amber highlights. France really settled down my severe appearance, and I didn't feel so controlling when I let my hair down and started dressing like a girl.

"Kristy! You look beautiful. Paris obviously agrees with you," Stacy said, finally smiling.

I knew they would all put on happy faces for now, but once the drinks starting flowing and the night got longer, it would all come out. I was looking forward to it.


	4. Disconnect

CHAPTER FOUR

All four of us walked single file into the high school, each of us nervous for various reasons. I knew for a fact that Mary Anne was terrified of seeing Logan. She hadn't talked to him since they graduated from the same college, and she didn't know if he was married or not. After they broke up in middle school, they stayed friends for a while, and eventually in high school they got back together. It lasted until their senior year in college. It was very serious there for a while, and everyone knew they would get married. But suddenly, inexplicably, Mary Anne broke it off. She never really and truly explained why, but I had a theory. I was pretty sure she was scared of spending the rest of her life with someone she met when she was 13. She wasn't one to "sew her oats", but I do think she was just scared.

Whatever the reason was, she and Logan haven't spoken since the night they broke-up. She has stayed single, only dating every now and then. It breaks my heart sometimes.

Once we got inside and decided that yes, everything was still exactly the same, we surveyed the people situation. Stacy spotted one of her math teachers and bounded after him. Claudia set her eyes on the infamous Alan Gray, who smiled at her cheekily. It was clear that this Alan Gray was still equally as gorgeous, but a lot more mature, which was a good combination for him.

While they wandered off, I asked Mary Ann, "Have you heard from Jessi or Mallory lately? Are they coming tonight?"

She shook her head.

"They are both so busy, Kristy. Did you Jessi is off doing Broadway stuff right now? Mallory just sold her second book. They're both doing pretty well for themselves, but I hardly ever talk to them. We just lost touch once we went to high school and they stayed in middle school."

I nodded. It sucked to lose touch with them, but that's the way my life seemed to go.

"Do you see him yet?" I asked Mary Anne.

She looked at me, aghast.

"Don't you think you'd know if I did, Kristy?"

I giggled in spite of myself.

The next couple of hours were spent catching up with old friends. It was nice to hear their comments on how I'd changed, but I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic for the Old Kristy. The Old Kristy got things done. The Old Kristy accomplished whatever it was she wanted to. So if that used to be me, why did I feel so unconnected to my old best friends?


	5. Logan

CHAPTER FOUR

While mingling, I tried to get in as much alcohol as possible. I was uncomfortable, especially when Mary Anne kept leaving me alone to talk to her friends.

While she was off talking to someone, I spotted Logan in the see of people. Of all people, Cokie Mason was trying to put her paws all over him. As usual, he was ignoring her and staring out into the crowd, presumably trying to find Mary Anne.

I decided that it was my duty to save him. Cokie Mason was still attractive, but she was not match for Logan.

I marched over to them and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" I said ridiculously. I couldn't think of anything else to say!

"It's definitely not a banana," he said, looking me over. Cokie, knowing that I was going to take the situation away from her, huffily walked away.

"Damn Kristy," he said in his southern drawl. "You look hot!"

I blushed. In all honestly, he was looking damn good himself.

"Thanks babe. You're not so bad yourself!"

There was a few awkward seconds of silence, and finally he asked.

"So, where is she?"

"She's in here somewhere, Logan. She misses you. I know she does."

He sighed.

"I thought I missed her too, Kristy. But then I got involved with someone else, and I just realized that it wasn't really her I missed, you know? It was the idea of passionately loving someone for so long. It was the idea that I found my soulmate at such a young age."

"I know what you're saying... Mary Anne has pretty much said that exact same thing about you. I'm glad you guys realized that."

He nodded.

Realizing that my friends had abandoned me, I asked him, "Want to go outside for a minute or two?"

"Sure," he said, giving me his famous grin.

I was just happy to see a familiar face that wasn't mad at me. I know Mary Anne tried to put on a happy face for me, but I also knew that she was also bitter about me leaving her all alone in California after we made plans to go out there together. She'd never say it, but I knew she felt I stabbed her in the back.

"You really do look great, Kristy. What's it like to live in France? A little different from Connecticut, I would imagine."

I snorted.

"It's a different world out there. It took a lot of getting used to, but I love it so much. I've been away for 3 days and I miss it already."

"What do you do out there?"

"I'm in marketing. I have a degree in teaching, but I realized that I have a knack for marketing. They love me out there, Logan."

We talked for another thirty minutes. I knew I should have tried to find Mary Anne to tell her about Logan, but I just didn't get around to finding her.

We were knee-deep in conversation about our jobs (he was a football commentator for a local radio station in Texas), the outside door opened and I heard Mary Anne say "Kristy? Are you out here?"

Logan spun around when he heard her voice.

"Mary Anne! Wow. It's so great to see you."

To her credit, Mary Anne only let herself look confused for a split second. Then she broke into a huge grin and practically jumped on Logan with a big bear hug.

"Logan! I missed you so much."

I smiled and went back inside the school. I wanted their reunion to be private. And honestly, my feelings weren't all that pure at the moment, I must confess.


	6. Sleepover

A few hours later, all four of us girls found ourselves at Mary Anne's parent's farm house. We were all a little buzzed and I knew the moment of truth would be coming soon. I knew they would all want to "share their feelings" before the end of the night. I knew they would all need some kind of closure, so I decided to speed things up a little.

"You guys, I know you're a little bitter about me moving away, and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about that. I really didn't think about anybody's feelings in advance, and that was really shitty of me. I really am sorry about that."

All three of them looked at me, dumbfounded. Then Claudia broke out in laughter, and soon Mary Anne and Stacy followed.

"God Kristy, you really haven't changed, have you?"

"What? I really am sorry... I know you guys must still be pissed at me."

Stacy snorted.

"Please, Kristy. We all got over that years ago. We were GLAD you got away from your tight ass military-style behavior. Thank God you got away from it!"

"Yeah, Kristy! It's not like the world revolves around you or something," Stacy said.

I looked at them in confusion.

"You mean you don't hold a grudge against me?"

"No way! Is that what you thought all these years? Kristy, it happens. We grew apart. We all moved away, went to school, found jobs and lovers and other interests. It's not like we could have kept the BSC around forever."

Ouch. I knew she was right, but it still hurt. If it were up to me, I probably would have tried to keep the BSC going forever.

"I think the better question here is, are you mad at us for leaving?" Stacy said, staring at me.

"Well, yes. You guys ditched the club. I was bitter." I said.

They all laughed.

"Same old Kristy," Claudia said. "You might look all fancy and know a little more French than you did before, but you're still the same."

I knew she was right. It was something to think about.

Claudia and Stacy drifted off to sleep an hour or two later. I was satisfied with our chat, if not a little disappointed. They were right – even with 10 years of growth behind me, I still pretty much thought the world revolved around me. Leave it to my childhood best friends to bring that to my attention.

I couldn't sleep. I had something on my mind and it didn't feel good. Logan kept entering my thoughts, and I tried to shake it off, but he wouldn't leave!

As if reading my thoughts, Mary Anne whispered, "Kristy, are you awake?"

"Yeah."

"Can we talk?"

"Isn't that what we've been doing all night?"

"You know what I mean!"

"Sure. What's on your mind?"

"Kristy... why didn't you come get me when you found Logan? I still don't understand."

"I don't really know. I just saw a friendly face, you know? Someone who I felt didn't care that I abandoned him and went to France. It was really good to see him."

"Yeah, it was. I really think we can be friends now without all the other stuff that goes along with it."

I knew Mary Anne believed that in her heart, but I also knew that she was wrong. What if I told her we exchanged numbers before she found us outside? What if she knew about the weirdly intense connection that existed between us?

It was too complicated to actually work out; I knew that in my heart. I was going back to France in a few days. And I knew when it really came down to it, I couldn't do that to Mary Anne.

But she didn't have to know ALL the details.

"That's great, sweetie. I'm glad you guys can be friends."

"It looks like you guys were pretty deep in conversation out there," she said quietly.

"We just had a lot of catching up to do! I haven't seen him in so long." I said. I hoped I was convincing enough.

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"It was great seeing you, Kristy. I know France is your home now, but we like to have you around."

I grinned at her, but I didn't think she could see it in the dark. I was just hoping she couldn't tell what I was thinking.

"Let's get some sleep," I said. "We had a long day."

She got back in her sleeping bag and fell asleep after a few minutes. I stayed up, thinking about betrayal and Logan's sexy southern drawl.


	7. Moment of truth

In the morning, after our cereal and orange juice, we said our goodbyes. I was so glad to spend some time with my old friends, and it really was a relief to know that they didn't have any abandonment issues.

On her way out, Stacy leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Good luck with Logan," and patted me on the ass. I looked at her, horrified, and she winked. Before I could say anything, she was gone.

Claudia had a plane to catch. She was originally leaving the next day, but she just missed her little girl way too much.

"Bye bye, Claud. Give that little girl of yours a big kiss for me!"

She grinned at me, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and was out the door.

Mary Anne lingered a bit, and I knew she was trying not to cry.

"It's cool, babe. I'll be back soon. You can come see me any time, remember that. The Eiffel Tower is a beautiful sight that you have to see at least once in your life.

She smiled and bit her lip to keep from crying.

"I love you, Kristy. You will always be my best friend."

I tried not to think about Logan as I gave her a big hug.

A few days later, after visiting with my parents and siblings, I was packing my bags to leave. Logan's number sat in my purse, ignored for now. I wanted more than anything to call him, but I kept thinking about Mary Anne and how she would be devastated by the situation.

My packing was interrupted by my cell phone.

"Kristy? It's Logan."

"Oh, hi Logan," I said, my heart racing.

"I want to see you before you leave. Is that possible?"

"Yes," I said quickly, before even letting myself think about the consequences."

"Meet me at my house," he said, and gave me directions.

15 minutes and 2 near panic attacks later, I found myself in Logan's bedroom.

I sat on his bed and nervously looked into his deep blue eyes.

"Are we making a mistake here?" I said, unable to take my eyes off him.

"Maybe, but it's only once, right? Nobody will possibly know."

That was enough for me. I leaned in for the kiss, and well, it was pretty amazing. I understood what Mary Anne was so crazy about for so long with that one kiss.

Oh god. Mary Anne.

"Logan! Wait! I can't do this. Mary Anne would never understand. She'd never be able to forgive me for this."

Instead of trying to justify it and say that she would never know, he just nodded.

"I'm sorry. I want this more than anything but it would be so wrong."

"I know. I do know that, Kristy. I just felt a connection with you that I've missed since having her in my life."

I smiled sadly and gave him a hug. I ignored the intense feeling of electricity that passed between us, and left without looking back.

As soon as I left, I got out my cell phone and called Mary Anne.

"Kristy! Aren't you leaving soon?"

"I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I just left Logan's house, Mary Anne. Nothing happened. I can't do that to you, and I probably shouldn't even tell you that, but I have to. Your friendship means everything to me and I don't want to jeopardize it by doing something stupid."

There was silence for almost a minute.

"Thanks for telling me, Kristy."

"Mary Anne?"

"I have to go. Have a safe trip, I'll talk to you later."

I knew she'd be okay. I did feel a little guilty, but I knew if I didn't tell her she'd always wonder what happened between us.

On the flight home, I thought about Logan, and how I'd always wonder what could have happened between us. There were definite sparks, and it was something I really wish I could explore. I thought about Mary Anne and what her friendship meant to me. I thought about Claudia and her little girl. I thought about Stacy and her fashion career.

What I really let sink in was the fact that even though my surroundings changed, even though my appearance changed, and even if I was a little older... everything was still the same. I still had that mean, bossy, take-charge selfish little girl inside me, even if I fought to keep her away. But that little girl was a part of me, and I wouldn't change that for anything.


End file.
